I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
