i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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