gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
