he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
