I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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