I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
