I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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