i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
