I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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