This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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