I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
