I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
