its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
