theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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