I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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