Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
