I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
