Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
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