Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
thus making me awesome and them whores
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
But break dance skills will only take you so far
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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