just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
