I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
