Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
