Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
