the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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