super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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