There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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