Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
