I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you would pick up someone in the library
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
