i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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