I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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