I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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