let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
