The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
