God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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