Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
