WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
wow bdsm is so cute
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