Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
