before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
