hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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