How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
