I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
