Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
