thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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