Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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