Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
