Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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