The best revenge is premature balding
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
