i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
don't judge my taste in strippers
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
