I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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