My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
